Thanksgiving

Since the newsletter goes out early Thursday mornings, I didn’t think you’d want business articles in your email on Thanksgiving. So, today I’ll give you a few ideas to ensure you have a great Thanksgiving.

Idea for avoiding arguments. Don’t worry about changing anyone’s mind. Listen to their perspectives. Respect their point of view. Appreciate their ideas and the reasons why they have them. Feel free to ask that they do the same. Essentially, don’t try to convince someone to see or believe something differently. Something beautiful happens with mutuality and recognition of each other. And if they don’t engage the way you want to, you can move on to the pumpkin pie.

Idea for creating closer, more meaningful conversations. It’s easy to stick to the surface stuff – the food, the football game, and the weather. But whether you are celebrating with people you’ve known your entire life or someone you are meeting for the first time, you have an opportunity to build a deeper connection. If you are intentional about this, you may find the time spent together to be far more valuable and enjoyable, as this research suggests.

Dr. Laurie Santos, Professor of Psychology at Yale University, commented on that study and offered us a few thought starters. Each question may be appropriate in a different situation, and the specific questions really aren’t the point. It’s about making the effort to get to know someone and being open to sharing yourself.

• For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
• If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about your future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
• What’s the most important thing I should know about you?
• If you could undo one mistake you have made in your life, what would it be and why would you undo it?

Nick Epley, Professor of Behavior Science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, summed up the opportunity to build deeper connections well when he said, “When you are connected to somebody else, it’s because you know them. And what is it to know somebody? It means you know what is on their mind. And the closest you get to somebody’s mind is through the words that they share with you.” 

Idea for not overstuffing yourself. You know all of this already, so I’m just reminding you. Of course, if you enjoy the feeling of being stuffed as part of your thanksgiving ritual, go for thirds. Your weight or waistline at the end of the year is not going to be impacted by an all-out crazy day of eating. It’s the other 364 days that will.

But if you find the feeling to be uncomfortable, here are some tips to avoid getting overstuffed:

• Drink plenty of water before and during your meal. This will make you less hungry when you sit down to eat. Wine and other alcohol will have the opposite effect.
• Stop when you feel full and don’t eat the seconds just because they taste good. Remind yourself you can get leftovers later.
• Get up from the table for those meaningful conversations and don’t linger, as you’ll be tempted to eat more.

I am likely to ignore at least two of these ideas, but then I can only blame myself if I’m uncomfortably stuffed.

Idea for something other than football to watch. I don’t really know why anyone would watch something other than football on Thanksgiving. But if for some strange reason they did, I’ll suggest the now popular My Octopus Teacher. When I watched it with my family last year around this time, it hadn’t yet won an Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature and was far less heralded, so, this may be old news for you. But this is a big hit for all ages. It is a visually breathtaking film, with beautiful music, and a story about connections, loss, and meaning in life. Perfect for Thanksgiving.

Idea for a call to make. What friend would love to hear from you? Maybe you’ve talked recently or maybe it’s been a while. But is there a better day to take a few minutes to call a friend and let them know that their friendship is among the things you are most thankful for? You may be waiting, as I am often guilty of doing, for the right time when you have an hour set aside for a proper catch up only to find that it keeps getting postponed. And you may be really busy with cooking, family, and entertaining today. But could you take 10 minutes to say hi, let them know you are thinking about them, and save the more in-depth catch up for another day in December or even after the new year? This applies all weekend. You have four days.